Slower Days

This past week was a whirlwind – I don’t think I stopped moving unless it was for sleep. And, there’s beauty in that: being as productive as possible, speeding through days at 100 MPH, and finally landing in your bed at the end of the day with a crash where, the second you touch the mattress, you’re out.  There’s a feeling of responsibilities completed, like you had a to-do list, and you checked that thing off – one-by-one. But, as I’m sitting here on a Sunday morning with the sun rising, with nothing but contemplation and my own voice in my head, I start to be grateful for the times when maybe I’m just going at my own pace.

I’ve discovered a newfound respect for those Type-A people who are constantly thinking of what to do next, where to go, how to further themselves – whether it be in their career or their friendships – because it’s a learned skill and one that I haven’t really had to pick up until recently. It’s tough. I’m an introvert with extraverted tendencies, so I value my me-time. Who cares if it’s Netflix, thinking about a song, or even writing this blog? That’s the time that I have to myself to spend it any way I’d like, and when you’re speeding through the day, the hours go so fast, and before you know it, you’ve lost any chance for yourself. And, then you’ve got to wake up early to do it all again.

I’ll go ahead and claim that one of the biggest changes in my life by going into music is that no single day is the same: there’s no routine, there’s no proper way of going about it, there’s no schedule on which I depend. Sure, there are appointments, and sure, I set goals for myself to finish on different timelines, but it’s no nine-to-five, and ultimately, your day is what you make it. There are days when I’m killing it, finishing all those little things that I forgot to do or just haven’t wanted to do, and then there are days when I do just about the bare minimum to let me sleep at night. But, like I said, there’s beauty in both.

I guess what I’m saying is it’s easy to feel like you’re sinking fast because there will never not be something to do – that familiar feeling of being overwhelmed that you get when you’ve got too much homework and not enough time is a constant – and if you look for too long at the big picture on the scale of the little things, you start shaking your head wondering how they could ever be finished. But I think dreams – and the bigger goals in life that we set for ourselves – are vague like that. We set this image of who we want to be, and though the path might be unknown, we start walking toward it however we see fit. We learn things along the way, maybe take a few steps backward before we can step forward again, but we keep going.

So, rounding back around to the beauty of lazy days: I love them because they’re rejuvenation. They’re a step off of the dream playing field where you can just ride bench for a little bit – because well, you need a rest. You can look at the big picture as a spectator and not as a player – at least for an instant – and remember why you’re here. Every day doesn’t need to be a whirlwind because sometimes, the slower days are just as important.